A perfect normal day draft 4

Some changes from my dear supervisor Phil. Thanks!

Draft 4

A perfect normal day

By

Xiaoyu Liu

xiaoyu,liu2012@ntu.ac.uk

07709 712736

EXT. STREET OF NOTTINGHAM DAY

It’s a typical cloudy and moody Wednesday morning in a quiet

neighborhood in Nottingham UK. ANN, 58, just goes back home

with two bags of groceries in her hands.

IN. ANN’S HOUSE DOORWAY DAY

She fishes out keys from her pocket, opens the door.

ANN

Am home. I got us Ravioli for

dinner.That check out boy He’s got

a nerve...The voucher had just

expired two days ago. How

ridiculous was that? Look how

filthy the room is..cleaning for us

today.

Ann takes off her coat, starts to do the cleaning. She wipes

the dinning table, mops the floor and waters the plants on

the table. (MONTAGE SEQUENCE)

ANN

At long last someone came to pick

up that yapping little dog.How many

times that stupid mutt slunk into

our garden and ruined your orchid

and yet that Greek woman just

rattles on about how isn’ther

little Bobby so adorable?"Guess

what,she had a stroke and may not

be able to walk again. Some people

might say she brought it on

herself.

Ann walks into the bedroom, takes several pills out from a

box on the bedstand and swallows them. She looks out of the

window, signs.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Someone’s knocking at the door.

ANN

Who is it?

JOEY

Postman, open the door please.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

Ann slowly walks towards the door and opens it with a

impatient countenance on her face. Outside is a postman,

JOEY, 21. Today is the first day of work.

JOEY

Good morning

ANN

I don’t know you. where has

MR.Miller gone?

JOEY

MR.Miller retired last week.He

asked me to keep an eye on you and

I am Joey, nice to see you.

ANN

I don’t like you young man. With

your furtive eyes and sullen face.

Wait..You look familiar.You must be

some kind of robber or swindler on

the tele!

POSTMAN

No madam I am definitely not.I am

Joey and today is my first day.Nice

to see you.

Joey doesn’t seem to be upset with the comment, in fact, he

looks at Ann with a gentle smile.

ANN

Oh my God stop that creepy

smile.You’d better watch out young

man, I don’t think you wanna mess

up with my husband,right Martin?

Ann pauses for half minute, but there is no response. She

then grabs the box and shuts the door.

Ann opens the box, it appears to be a silk scarves from her

niece Rachel.

ANN

Guess what is it Martin? silk

scarves from Rachel. Oh right she

went to China with her weedy little

husband for honeymoon. Have you

ever heard a man allergies to

everything? Last time they came

over for dinner a roache scared the

hell out of him. What a pussy...

what do you think..? is it good on

me?

3.

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM EVENING

Ann is sitting on the sofa with an old photo album on her

hands,the television is on.

ANN

Look at you in that uniform, what

year was that? 1963? It really has

been a long time.

CAMERA ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP TO ANN’S FACE. IT IS TENDERNESS IN

HER FACE WHEN SHE LOOKS AT THE OLD PHOTO FROM ALBUM.

The camera moves on the wall, there’s a old newspaper

clipping with the headline: "Local fire fighter,37,died

after saving 3 people’s lifes"

Fade to black

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

ANN opens the door, Joey is standing outside with a big

piece of cake on his hand.

JOEY

Morning Mrs.Russell.

ANN

What?

JOEY

My mum made this strawberry cheesy

cake, please have a try

Mrs.Russell!

ANN

You call it cake? Don’t make me

laugh young man. I don’t wanna end

up in hospital.

Ann shuts the door. Joey looks at the cake, shrugges

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Ann is standing by the window, Joey walks pass.

JOEY

Good morning Mrs.Russell

Ann doesn’t reply, she turns around and draws the curtains.

4.

EXT.THE PAVEMENT OUTSIDE ANN’S HOUSE DAY

Ann is on her way back home with two bags of groceries on

her hands. She is a little short of breath. Joey

JOEY

Let me help you Mrs. Russell.

Joey takes the bags before Ann responds him. Ann looks at

him, feels touched.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Ann’s watching at the newspaper. Someone knocks at the door.

Ann opens the door, Joey stands outside with a painful face.

JOEY

Hi Mrs. Russell, I just fell down

and hurt my ankle, can I sit awhile

in your home?

ANN

Come on in. I got some ointment for

you.

JOEY

Thank you Mrs.Russell.

ANN

You can call me Ann.

The kettle is boiling. Ann makes tea for Joey. They sit on

the sofa, start chatting.(With background music) Ann seems

less defensive and for the first time in years, she smiles.

JOEY

I am feeling much better, thank you

very much, and also, I just a nice

time chatting with you.

Joey walk out of Ann’s house with a limp, but after Ann

closes her door, he immediately walks as normal.

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Ann closes the door with a smile on her face.

ANN

Clever move,son!

Fade to black

A perfect normal day draft3

Previous comment from Phil:

• Too much coincidences about the part " Postman Joey is the child Ann's husband saves",  not convincing to the audiences. 
• Form background story for character even it won't show in the script. The more you know about your character, the more confident you feel about the story.  

Draft 3

A perfect normal day

By

Xiaoyu Liu

xiaoyu,liu2012@ntu.ac.uk

07709 712736

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

It’s a typical cloudy and moody Wednesday morning in a quiet

neighborhood in Nottingham UK. ANN, 58, just goes back home

with two bags of groceries on her hands.

ANN

Am home. I got you Ravioli for

dinner. You have no idea how cheeky

the boy at check-out was...The

voucher had just expired two days

ago. How ridiculous was that? Look

how filthy the room is..I need to

do the cleaning today.

Ann takes off her coat, starts to do the cleaning. She wipes

the dinning table, mops the floor and waters the plants on

the table.

ANN

Finally someone came today to pick

that annoying dog. How many times

that stupid dog slunk into our

garden and ruined your orchid and

that Greek woman at the end of the

block just simply said: I am sorry

Mrs Russell, but isn’t my bobby

adorable?"Guess what,she had a

stroke and may not be able to walk

again.I say she had it coming

herself.

Ann walks into the bedroom, takes several pills out from a

box on the bedstand and swallows them. She looks out of the

window, signs.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Someone’s knocking at the door.

ANN

Who is it?

JOEY

Postman, open the door please.

Ann slowly walks towards the door and opens it with a

impatient countenance on her face. Outside is a postman,

JOEY, 21. Today is the first day of work.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

JOEY

Good morning

ANN

I don’t know you. where has

MR.Miller gone?

JOEY

MR.Miller retired last week.I am

Joey, nice to see you.

ANN

I don’t like you young man. Look at

your furtive eyes and sullen face.

Wait..You look familiar.You must be

some kind of robber or swindler on

the tele!

POSTMAN

No madam I am definitely not.I am

Joey and today is my first day.Nice

to see you.

Joey doesn’t seem to be upset with the comment, in fact, he

looks at Ann with a gentle smile.

ANN

Oh my God stop that creepy

smile.You’d better watch out young

man, I don’t think you wanna mess

up with my husband,right Martin?

Ann pauses for half minute, but there is no response. She

then grabs the box and shuts the door.

Ann opens the box, it appears to be a silk scarves from her

niece Rachel.

ANN

Guess what is it Martin? silk

scarves from Rachel. Oh right she

went to China with her weedy little

husband for honeymoon. Have you

ever heard a man allergies to

everything? Last time they came

over for dinner a roache scared the

hell out of him. What a pussy...

what do you think..? is it good on

me?

3.

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM EVENING

Ann is sitting on the sofa with an old photo album on her

hands,the television is on.

ANN

Look at you in that uniform, what

year was that? 1963? It really has

been a long time.

CAMERA ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP TO ANN’S FACE. IT IS TENDERNESS IN

HER FACE WHEN SHE LOOKS AT THE OLD PHOTO FROM ALBUM.

The camera moves on the wall, there’s a old newspaper

clipping with the headline: "Local fire fighter,37,died

after saving 3 people’s life"

Fade to black

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

ANN opens the door, Joey is standing outside with a big

piece of cake on his hand.

JOEY

Morning Mrs.Russell.

ANN

What?

JOEY

My mum made this strawberry cheesy

cake, please have a try

Mrs.Russell!

ANN

You call it cake? Don’t make me

laugh young man. I don’t wanna end

up in hospital.

Ann shuts the door. Joey looks at the cake, shrugges

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Ann is standing by the window, Joey walks pass.

JOEY

Good morning Mrs.Russell

Ann doesn’t reply, she turns around and draws the curtains.

4.

EXT.THE PAVEMENT OUTSIDE ANN’S HOUSE DAY

Ann is on her way back home with two bags of groceries on

her hands. She is a little short of breath. Joey

JOEY

Let me help you Mrs. Russell.

Joey takes the bags before Ann responds him. Ann looks at

him, feels touched.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Ann’s watching at the newspaper. Someone knocks at the door.

Ann opens the door, Joey stands outside with a painful face.

JOEY

Hi Mrs. Russell, I just fell down

and hurt my ankle, can I sit awhile

in your home?

ANN

Come on in. I got some ointment for

you.

JOEY

Thank you Mrs.Russell.

ANN

You can call me Ann.

The kettle is boiling. Ann makes tea for Joey. They sit on

the sofa, start chatting.(With background music) Ann seems

less defensive and for the first time in years, she smiles.

JOEY

I am feeling much better, thank you

very much, and also, I just a nice

time chatting with you.

Joey walk out of Ann’s house with a limp, but after Ann

closes her door, he immediately walks as normal.

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Ann closes the door with a smile on her face.

ANN

Clever move,son!

Fade to black

A perfect normal day draft 2

previous comment from Phil:

• Twist needed in the story, some changes might happened on the old lady so the story will be more complete and attractive.
• Too much conversation. sometimes less is more. 
• Maybe things happened with postman because he's new in town. 

Second draft:

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

CLOSE UP: ANN’S FACE

It’s a typical cloudy and moody Wednesday morning in the UK,

Ann, 58, just goes back home with two bags of groceries on

her hands.

ANN

Am home. I got you your favorite

Ravioli. Almost quarrel with the

guy at the check out. On what

universe couldn’t they accept my

voucher...you know, it’s just

expired two days ago. How

ridiculous was that? Look how

filthy the room is..I need to do

the cleaning today.

Ann takes off her coat, starts to do the cleaning. She wipes

the dinning table, mops the floor and waters the plants on

the table.

ANN

Do you know that the Greek woman

lives at the end of our block,

what’s her name...oh

Livana[U+FF0C]had a stroke last

week. I say she had it coming

herself. How many times her stupid

dog slunk into our garden and

ruined your orchid and she just

simply said: I am sorry Mrs

Russell, but isn’t my bobby

adorable?" I saw someone coming

yesterday picked that dog

up.Finally!

Ann walks into the bedroom, takes several pills out from a

box on the bedstand and swallows them. She looks out of the

window, signs.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Someone’s knocking at the door.

ANN

Who is it?

POSTMAN

Postman, open the door please.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

Ann slowly walks towards the door and opens it with a

impatient countenance on her face. Outside is a postman,

Joey, 27 years old who just finishes a 2 years relationship

in Manchester and moves to Nottingham.

JOEY

Good morning

ANN

I don’t know you. where has

MR.Miller gone?

JOEY

MR.Miller retired last week.I am

Joey, nice to see you.

ANN

I don’t like you young man. Look at

your furtive eyes and sullen face.

I am sure I saw you somewhere on

the tele... you must be some kind

of criminal at large.

POSTMAN

No madam I am definitely not..you

are Mrs Russell right?

Joey doesn’t seem to be upset with the comment, in fact, he

looks at Ann with a gentle smile.

ANN

Oh my God stop that creepy

smile.You’d better watch out young

man, I don’t think you wanna mess

up with my husband,right Martin?

Ann pauses for half minute, but there is no response. She

then grabs the box and shuts the door.

JOEY

(mumbling)How are you for

these years Mrs.Russell?

Ann opens the box, it appears to be a silk scarves from her

niece Rachel.

ANN

Guess what is it Martin? silk

scarves from Rachel. Oh right she

went to China with her weedy little

husband for honeymoon. Have you

ever heard a man allergies to

everything? Last time they came

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 3.

ANN (cont’d)

over for dinner a roache scared the

hell out of him. What a pussy...

what do you think..? is it good on

me?

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM EVENING

Ann is sitting on the sofa with an old photo album on her

hands,the television is on.

ANN

Look at you in that uniform, what

year was that? 1963? It really has

been a long time.

CAMERA ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP TO ANN’S FACE. IT IS TENDERNESS IN

HER FACE WHEN SHE LOOKS AT THE OLD PHOTO FROM ALBUM.

The camera moves on the wall, there’s a old newspaper

clipping with the headline: "Local fire fighter,37,died

after saving 3 people’s life"

Someone’s knocking at the door.

The door’s open. Joey stand outside with a small bunch of

flower on his hand.

JOEY

Good evening Mrs Russell, it’s me

Joey. We met this morning.

ANN

What do you want?

JOEY

I got something to tell you. May I

come in?

Ann hesitates for awhile, learns over and let him in.

ANN

Now you can talk.

Joey doesn’t say anything, he took a old necklace out from

his pocket and passes it to Ann.

ANN

This is..how did you get it?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 4.

JOEY

I am the boy he saved in that fire.

He gave it to me before he headed

back to the building cause I was so

scared and couldn’t stop shaking.

He said, now I give you a task.

This is the most important stuff of

me, can you help me take care of it

for awhile?

Ann trembles, she opens her month but cannot utter a word.

JOEY

My parents and I moved to

Manchester after I was discharged

from hospital. Mrs.Russell.. I..I

don’t know what to say, I am so

sorry.[U+FF08]with a lump in his

throat[U+FF09]

ANN

You know what? You are a good kid.

He must be proud to see you today.

Ann holds Joey’s hand, smiles in tears

CAMERA ZOOM OUT, FADE TO BLACK

The perfect normal day script draft 1

Screenplay

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

CLOSE UP: ANN’S FACE

It’s a typical cloudy and moody Wednesday morning in the UK,

Ann, 73, just goes back home with two bags of groceries on

her hands.

ANN

Am home. I got you your favorite

Ravioli. Almost quarrel with the

guy at the check out. On what

universe couldn’t they accept my

voucher...you know, it’s just

expired two days ago. How

ridiculous was that? Look how

filthy the room is..I need to do

the cleaning today.

Ann takes off her coat, starts to do the cleaning. She wipes

the dinning table, mops the floor and waters the plants on

the table.

ANN

Do you know that the Greek woman

lives at the end of our block,

what’s her name...oh

Livana[U+FF0C]had a stroke last

week. I say she had it coming

herself. How many times her stupid

dog slunk into our garden and

ruined your orchid in the garden

she just simply said: I am sorry

Mrs Russell, but isn’t my bobby

adorable?" I saw someone coming

yesterday picked that dog

up.Finally!

Ann walks into the bedroom, takes several pills out from a

box on the bedstand and swallows them. She looks out of the

window, signs.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM

Someone’s knocking at the door.

ANN

Who is it?

POSTMAN

Postman, open the door please.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

Ann slowly walks towards the door and opens it, with a

impatient countenance on her face.

POSTMAN

Good morning

ANN

I don’t know you. where has

MR.Miller gone?

POSTMAN

MR.Miller retired last week.I am

Scott, nice to see you.

ANN

I don’t like you young man. Look at

your furtive eyes and sullen face.

Who will be happy to see you

everyday?

POSTMAN

Oh madam...

ANN

Give me that before you ruin my

day!

Ann grabs the box and shuts the door.

POSTMAN

What the..

Ann opens the box, it appears to be a silk scarves from her

niece Rachel.

ANN

Guess what is it Martin? silk

scarves from Rachel. Oh right she

went to China with her weedy little

husband for honeymoon. Have you

ever heard a man allergies to

everything? Last time they came

over for dinner a roache scared the

hell out of him. What a pussy...

what do you think..? is it good on

me?

3.

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM

Ann is sitting on the sofa with an old photo album on her

hands,the television is on.

ANN

Look at you in that uniform, what

year was that? 1963? It really has

been a long time.

CAMERA ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP TO ANN’S FACE. IT IS TENDERNESS IN

HER FACE WHEN SHE LOOKS AT THE OLD PHOTO FROM ALBUM.

The camera moves on the wall, there’s a cold newspaper

clipping with the headline: "Fire fighters,45,died after

saving 3 people’s life"

ZOOM OUT AND FADE TO BLACK