A perfect normal day draft 2

previous comment from Phil:

• Twist needed in the story, some changes might happened on the old lady so the story will be more complete and attractive.
• Too much conversation. sometimes less is more. 
• Maybe things happened with postman because he's new in town. 

Second draft:

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

CLOSE UP: ANN’S FACE

It’s a typical cloudy and moody Wednesday morning in the UK,

Ann, 58, just goes back home with two bags of groceries on

her hands.

ANN

Am home. I got you your favorite

Ravioli. Almost quarrel with the

guy at the check out. On what

universe couldn’t they accept my

voucher...you know, it’s just

expired two days ago. How

ridiculous was that? Look how

filthy the room is..I need to do

the cleaning today.

Ann takes off her coat, starts to do the cleaning. She wipes

the dinning table, mops the floor and waters the plants on

the table.

ANN

Do you know that the Greek woman

lives at the end of our block,

what’s her name...oh

Livana[U+FF0C]had a stroke last

week. I say she had it coming

herself. How many times her stupid

dog slunk into our garden and

ruined your orchid and she just

simply said: I am sorry Mrs

Russell, but isn’t my bobby

adorable?" I saw someone coming

yesterday picked that dog

up.Finally!

Ann walks into the bedroom, takes several pills out from a

box on the bedstand and swallows them. She looks out of the

window, signs.

INT.ANN’S LIVING ROOM DAY

Someone’s knocking at the door.

ANN

Who is it?

POSTMAN

Postman, open the door please.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 2.

Ann slowly walks towards the door and opens it with a

impatient countenance on her face. Outside is a postman,

Joey, 27 years old who just finishes a 2 years relationship

in Manchester and moves to Nottingham.

JOEY

Good morning

ANN

I don’t know you. where has

MR.Miller gone?

JOEY

MR.Miller retired last week.I am

Joey, nice to see you.

ANN

I don’t like you young man. Look at

your furtive eyes and sullen face.

I am sure I saw you somewhere on

the tele... you must be some kind

of criminal at large.

POSTMAN

No madam I am definitely not..you

are Mrs Russell right?

Joey doesn’t seem to be upset with the comment, in fact, he

looks at Ann with a gentle smile.

ANN

Oh my God stop that creepy

smile.You’d better watch out young

man, I don’t think you wanna mess

up with my husband,right Martin?

Ann pauses for half minute, but there is no response. She

then grabs the box and shuts the door.

JOEY

(mumbling)How are you for

these years Mrs.Russell?

Ann opens the box, it appears to be a silk scarves from her

niece Rachel.

ANN

Guess what is it Martin? silk

scarves from Rachel. Oh right she

went to China with her weedy little

husband for honeymoon. Have you

ever heard a man allergies to

everything? Last time they came

(MORE)

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 3.

ANN (cont’d)

over for dinner a roache scared the

hell out of him. What a pussy...

what do you think..? is it good on

me?

INT. ANN’S LIVING ROOM EVENING

Ann is sitting on the sofa with an old photo album on her

hands,the television is on.

ANN

Look at you in that uniform, what

year was that? 1963? It really has

been a long time.

CAMERA ZOOM IN, CLOSE UP TO ANN’S FACE. IT IS TENDERNESS IN

HER FACE WHEN SHE LOOKS AT THE OLD PHOTO FROM ALBUM.

The camera moves on the wall, there’s a old newspaper

clipping with the headline: "Local fire fighter,37,died

after saving 3 people’s life"

Someone’s knocking at the door.

The door’s open. Joey stand outside with a small bunch of

flower on his hand.

JOEY

Good evening Mrs Russell, it’s me

Joey. We met this morning.

ANN

What do you want?

JOEY

I got something to tell you. May I

come in?

Ann hesitates for awhile, learns over and let him in.

ANN

Now you can talk.

Joey doesn’t say anything, he took a old necklace out from

his pocket and passes it to Ann.

ANN

This is..how did you get it?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: 4.

JOEY

I am the boy he saved in that fire.

He gave it to me before he headed

back to the building cause I was so

scared and couldn’t stop shaking.

He said, now I give you a task.

This is the most important stuff of

me, can you help me take care of it

for awhile?

Ann trembles, she opens her month but cannot utter a word.

JOEY

My parents and I moved to

Manchester after I was discharged

from hospital. Mrs.Russell.. I..I

don’t know what to say, I am so

sorry.[U+FF08]with a lump in his

throat[U+FF09]

ANN

You know what? You are a good kid.

He must be proud to see you today.

Ann holds Joey’s hand, smiles in tears

CAMERA ZOOM OUT, FADE TO BLACK